Obvious Fatty is Obvious

I like uploading the image first and then typing around it. No idea why.

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I've been very bad lately. I've been eating. I've been drinking. I've been...screaming on the inside. I'm due on in a week. AND I AM SO SICK OF BEING FAT! I am sick of my grandparents and my dad lecturing all the time about what I should and shouldn't do. I just want to say: Look, if you wanted some sort of influence on how I turned out then maybe you should've been around more. But you weren't. Leave me alone. I'll do what I want with my life. Because it's MINE. You have no business here. Go away.

I'm sorry, guys. I'd been doing so well the past few days. Not with eating, but with being more productive and job-hunting and doing stuff around the house and today, I just feel awful. It's my own fault. I just feel so alone. Normally, I don't mind. I like being alone. I'm not a huge fan of interacting. I like people. I just don't like talking to them. But today, I feel so so alone. I want to scream and cry and yell at someone. I want a hug, from someone and I can't ask. I can never ask. I can never rely on anyone because relying on people is stupid. The only person you can count on is yourself.

Besides, I'm too much of a burden. I'm too...unreliable. I am so sick of that adjective being used to describe me. I want to be better. I want to be thinner. I want to be smarter. I want to stop being such a baby. Stop being such a weakling. JUST STOP IT.

...HERE.

My new diet plan for the week is this: Fast (if someone will fast with me) or live on cucumber and 5 calorie jelly until I run out of either. I have a large cucumber and 8 pots of jelly. Even if I binge, I can't do any damage. I can do this. I will do this. I will be at least 5lbs thinner by next week. I will be thinner by this time next week.

I'll post stats tomorrow so you can have before and after. I'd do it now but I can't get to the scales to weigh myself, just do measurements.

Today's Thinspo

I've been watching re-runs of AMNTM while I've been doing aerobics in the morning and I think Fo is beautiful. It makes me sad that she lost just because of her height. I also have short hair, am short and have a similar skin tone so I'm hoping to look like her in 3 months :)

Today's Quote

"Life is like the night sky. In the darkness, there are stars" - Anon.

Today's Playlist

1) Have to Drive - Amanda Palmer

2) Come Home Soon - Hannah Trigwell

3) The Good Life - Five Times August

4) Waves of Grain - Two Gallants

5) Glass Slipper - The Dresden Dolls

Does anyone know of any way I can get a gizmo for this thing so I can play you the songs instead of just list them? I am totally incompetent with HTML so if you do, e-mail me: lillibet91@gmail.com or comment below.

very simple instructions should do it but I may ask for diagrams.

Love you all,

Analise.

xxx