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I realise I haven't blogged for longer than I usually do and I apologise for this. Everyone I know ever has had a birthday in the past week (this is only a slight exaggeration); I've been ill; I've been busy with major boy-related drama and job interviews and and and and...you get the idea. I apologise.
Thank you to everybody for the amazing well-wishes and helpful hints. You are all beautiful and amazing and you mean the world to me. I've started taking Vitamin C so here's hoping it helps.
So this is my new attitude to life: As of today, I have missed out on not one, but two, absolutely amazing guys because I am mentally unstable. I am not just annoyed at myself. I am furious. If anything, I am more determined than ever to get better, to get thin, make something of myself and be happy. Fuck the world. Fuck my family. Fuck anyone that says I can't do this. I will win.
My new diet is this:
Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: Salad (80cals)
Dinner: Soup (less than 220cals)
Nothing but that until I am 105lbs. I have finally been put on a waiting list for treatment, I need to wait four months. Hopefully, my interviews have gone well and somebody will offer me a job sometime soon. Fingers crossed :)
New Rules
1) Only weighing in and measuring once a week
2) Weekends are 800cal days, weekdays are 300cals
3) Start saying "no" - MUST get better at this.
4) Nothing but lemon water, iced water and pro-biotic yoghurt.
5) Take vitamins every day.
6) Make a To Do list for every day and complete it.
7) Rewards can only be given if the target weight or below is kept for a minimum of one week
8) Rewards will be funded by using the money saved from otherwise buying food. e.g. if I choose a can of soup over macaroni cheese, I put the difference in my savings pot.
Today's thinspo
A little off topic but this is what I did while I was away and I wanted to show you guys.
And also tagged on some inspiration abs too. Enjoy :)
Today's Quote
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Peri recently had this on her blog and it's always been a quote I've loved and it seemed appropriate.
Today's Playlist
1) Cell Block Tango - Chicago Soundtrack
2) Backstabber - The Dresden Dolls
3) You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
4) Let's Dance To Joy Division - The Wombats (This song is AWESOME - Listen to it!)
5) Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence
Here's to new leaves, my lovelies!
Love, love, love
Analise!
Urg. Saying no is such a pain. I swear back when I was all into eating food, it was like pulling teeth to bum a french fry. Now that I'm not eating its like its everyones personal mission to shove food down my throat.
ReplyDeleteyour rules are awesome and i am incorporating some for myself. anything to get skinny lol x
ReplyDeleteBe strong love...I know you will make it through this...I am here for you, glad you are finally on the waiting list. Good luck on the new diet..it looks fantastic! Much love and happiness..
ReplyDeletethe rules look good! and i completely agree - "no" is the hardest thing to say, especially when you have amazing food sitting right in front of you! good luck xx
ReplyDeleteOhhh, great post! I love the motivation and positivity. I really hope that you do get a job soon - I'm sure you will. You're gorgeous.
ReplyDelete<3
yes babe, you will do this dont let anyone stand in your way!
ReplyDeletexoxo
yo're so lucky to be able to choose what you eat and stay with it! that you are able to get away with only eating those things. living with people who want to shove food down your throat every second is a constant pain!
ReplyDeleteglad you've got a plan going for you. I just set one up for myself as well. hope your's goes well!
Good luck with your diet honey. :]
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to hear from you! Your plan sounds wonderful :)
ReplyDeleteHey lady, I just discovered your blog, and it's great!
ReplyDeleteI love those pictures, especially the 4th one down. ;)
You will win. You can do anything you set your mind to!! xxxoooxxx
#5 is one of my favourite songs of all time. I LOVE the music video, Jhonen Vasquez is a genius!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that those guys have motivated you, but I personally have to say: fuck 'em. You deserve someone who is awesome and not just amazing. You'll find a guy who likes each and every little part of you one day.
ReplyDelete"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marylin Monroe
Hey. A BIG thank you for the comment you just left! Seriously, I can totally identify with that, and he was the same as your ex - controlling and all that crap.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing all that with me, gorgeous.
<3
thanks for stopping by.... the story is going to get much more fun...
ReplyDelete*winks*
no laxies dont hurt - but i found them very... addictive. be careful
ReplyDeletexoxo
Those goals seem like such a good idea, I wish you alot of luck in reaching every single one of them! Thanks for the lovely comments on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI honestly didn't realise how long it had been. My concept of time has gotten damn slippery. Surprise Baby is 3.5 months old already!!!1! When the FUCK did that happen??
ReplyDeleteFUCK YES awesome songs and dancing like an epileptic hamster made my night. I love you!
P.S. That video is seriously fucking disturbing!
hey lovely, thank you very very much for always having something nice to say on my blog, I appreciate it! I hope your new plan/rules are working out well =)
ReplyDeleteThe one and only thing that will get you what you want is your mindset, and it sounds like you have really found the motivation for this. Maybe you had to suffer a few missed opportunities for it, but it will be worth it.
Good luck, girl! I hope you had a great week, can't wait to find out how you're doing!
Dear god! Your parents gave you a horrible gene set to choose from D: Hey, don't knock the boobs. I've got big boobs too, and once you learn how to dress to accentuate, (Think V-necklines, ditch top with ruffles&sparkles on the chest) you're totally set! Cheao drinks, cheap rides, cheap coffee ^.^ Big boobs also create an optical illusion that makes your waist look smaller! *cha-ching!*
ReplyDeleteI only wish I was fluent in Maori. I know the smattering you grow up learning at school and watching TV. I would have continues if the teachers hadn't been such assholes to the white kids D:< Way to preserve your culture, morons! I'm trying to teach myself more. Lol, way to stick it up the old teacher's nose when I walk onto the marae totally fluent! ^.^ Revenge is best taken cold with a side of irony.
Fuck I know the feeling, ay! It's taken me 4 months to remember where my new coworker is from D: I think we should book our rest home rooms now, in case we forget XD Oooh, that is a handy kill-signal for fasting. My weight is all over the place from day-to-day so it'd never work for me :'(
Have a fucking AWESOME weekend!