Well, the past week has been okay. Ups and downs. You know how it is. My fourth poem is being published in the next couple of weeks which means I might actually be getting closer to being able to make a living from my writing. I'm trying to get a collection of 50 together for editing and submitting to an agent.

I want to say this: I love you guys. I mean that. I really really do. Because even though I've been here for like, two weeks, you keep me strong. Ana keeps me strong and you guys keep me strong and I can say, whole-heartedly, that I wouldn't be here without either of you. When I sign on here and find your blogs and your comments waiting for me, the smile just spreads across my face.

Having read all of your blogs from the past 4 days or so I noticed something really weird: all of us girls seem to be due our monthly gift around the same time! Internet synchronization? Is that possible? Haha.

I don't have much to report weight-wise. I've been going over my limit every other day and haven't been able to exercise much but I'm at the beginning of my first 40 hour fast so I'll post results when I'm done fasting :) I'm getting to the point where I'm going to refuse to eat or sleep until I get past the 150 mark and then I will NEVER see it again.

Today's thinspo pic: This is Stevie. She is my ex-boyfriend's best friend. She is about 5"8 and 130lbs. What can I say about Stevie? She does not like me, she thinks I hate her, she is a ridiculously talented poet and she's shallow, fickle, compassionate, generous, sometimes selfish, immature...but whichever way you cut it, to me, she is the most beautiful girl in the world.

Today's quote: "And you might says it's self-indulgent, you might say it's self-destructive but it's more productive than if I were to be happy...and you might say it's self-destructive but, you see, I'd kick the bucket sixty times before I'd kick the habit...I cherish the revolting thought that even if I quit, there's not a chance in hell I'd stop and anyone can see the signs...thank you for your pity, you are too kind. And you might say it's self-destructive, but you see, that's contradictive: why on earth would anyone practice self-destruction?" - Bad Habit by The Dresden Dolls.

My 5 Song Playlist for Today:

1) Oasis by Amanda Palmer

2) The Cave by Mumford and Sons

3) Lady by Regina Spektor

4) Jesus Christ by Brand New

5) Millstone by Brand New

(this is new and it won't always been ana-inspired because music is not always about driving you to achieve your goals - it's about love. )

I'd also like you guys to post comments, send messages, communicate telepathically, hunt me down and tell me what you'd like to see more of in this blog. Name it and I will attempt to include it :)

"You're difficult. Moody, cynical, bitter, fat, decadent, spoilt. You stay in bed all day then watch TV all night, you crash around this house with sleep in your eyes and not a thought for anyone. You're in pain. I adore you."

Phaedra's Love by Sarah Kane

- Be happy, darlings. I'm here for you, come what may.

Analise

UPDATE:

Okay, so, I bit the bullet and did my measurements before I started the fast and decided to post them so you guys can see the full effect of the fasts I'm doing this week:

Height: 5ft 4in

Weight: 152lbs

Hips: 39.37in (-0.39in)

Waist: 31.69 (+0.38in)

Left Thigh: 23.43 (+0.69in)

Right Thigh: 23.23 (+0.87in)

I am pissed about the expansion around my waist and thighs but it balances out because I'm over the moon that I still managed to stay at 152lbs despite Tuesday's binge of fajitas and chocolate cake (thank you, metabolism, I love you!).

I'll be posting tomorrow when the first fast ends. I managed to burn 211 calories today and I'll burn some more tomorrow. I also plan on posting my meal plans, as requested. :)

Love, love, love!